KaoruXToshiya
By Vanilla Mint

PART 7

..
-Nobody can be a bigger jerk than Shinya!- Die fumed mentally. -Rape. That what he said. That...-

Die shook his head as he walked down the street, his hands jammed into his pockets and he fished out a pack of cigarettes. The icy wind blew against his face. Frowning, he stuffed a cigarette into his mouth and lit it.

-Well, at least now I know how that brat sees me all this time while there I was, a stupid moron, wasting time worrying about him. He thinks of nothing but himself; crying to the world about how much he's hurting. He's so blinded with his self-pity and his damn infatuation with Kaoru! Stupid Shinya!-

Closing his thoughts on that matter, he entered the first pub he came to.

***
Sitting on the only couch, Kaoru looked around Toshiya's apartment. It had been re-decorated, he thought as he noted the new pieces of racks and carpets that covered the floor. Funny how he remembered every single detail of Toshiya's apaato every time he came around.

Toshiya emerged from his bedroom after changing into his casual wear and headed for the kitchen. " You want anything to drink?"

" What do you have?"

" I've got carrot juice but if you don't like that, I can get you a glass of spinach juice." Toshiya's voice sounded faint from the kitchen.

" Uh, I'm not thirsty. Thanks," Kaoru said calmly although he felt his heart pulsing rapidly against his ribs. He held his hands together and told himself to cool down. He breathed deeply before exhaling and breathed in again.

Toshiya came back with a glass of greenish liquid in his hands and sat down on the floor. Then they both sat there at their place, as talkative as two Egyptian mummies. Kaoru couldn't find the words he drafted yesterday night in his bed to tell Toshiya. Luckily for him, Toshiya broke the silence.

" Sorry, okay, for the slap? No hard feelings?"

" It's okay. Didn't hurt much," Kaoru lied.

His reply was most probably not what Toshiya wanted to hear, he guessed, because the bassist switched on the television and kept quiet. Toshiya changed from one channel to another but there was nothing to watch except the national news and some boring documentaries. He cursed the program schedule and then when he realized that was stupid, he cursed himself.

-Whatever made me bring this man home? He's not worth me. Not after how he two-timed me.- Toshiya gave his thoughts a pause. -So maybe he didn't two-time me but he knew he had hurt me and I haven't heard a word of apology up to now,- he reasoned out stubbornly. 

While Toshiya was too occupied with that little argument he made up in his mind, he didn't notice Kaoru had dropped to the floor beside him, until he began to speak.

" Toshiya, I want to sort out something," he spoke, picking his words cautiously. " I want you to know that there's nothing between me and Shinya."

"..." Toshiya looked at him for a moment and Kaoru thought he would say something but instead he suddenly found the malaria report on channel 7 extremely interesting. Seeing the lack of response from his friend, Kaoru reached out for the remote control in Toshiya's hands and clicked the distracting screen off.

" Are you listening to me?" 

" Yeah, I heard you," Toshiya answered disinterestedly and turned his head sideways to admire the stain on his floral wallpaper.

At this point of time, Kaoru's patience was already paper-thin. He grabbed the younger man by the arms and forced his lips upon his, emitting a grunt of protest.

" Get off me! I'm not like Shinya! Don't play with me!" He shoved Kaoru away, his breathing labored.

Kaoru sat back against the glass table, eyes never leaving Toshiya's angry face. " You still don't get it, do you?" Kaoru sighed. "It's you that I want."

***
He trembled slightly with passion as he undid the buttons of his blouse with his numb fingers before moving lower to remove his pants. The winter's night air was refreshing against his sweaty skin. Shinya let his hair fall to brush its ends against Die's chest and neck. His head was heavy with alcohol. He giggled as he pulled the bigger man above him.

" Shinya..." Die caught Shinya's hands when they moved to undo the buckle of his pants.

" Please, Die...I want it so much." He pleaded as he looked into the guitarist hesitant eyes. "Please..."His voice barely a whisper, laden with desire.

He felt Die's fingers brush past his arm, leaving a trail of tingling sensation where it touched his skin. He could not see Die's face in the dark room but he could make out its outline with the help of the street lamps filtering through the thin curtain. He closed his eyes as Die lowered his head to nibble and suck on the tender skin at the base of his neck. Then he felt Die's hands on his shoulders, turning him over to lie on his stomach. He whimpered more for the older man to make love to him. With his senses blurred by liquor, he didn't even feel Die penetrating him until the man impaled fully into him, locking their two bodies together. He felt his muscles contract against Die's hard shaft. He moaned louder as they moved their hips to a silent rhythm. Each thrust brought him to greater heights of pleasure. He could hear Die scream out his name in his ears as they closed to climax. His own eyes glazed with ecstasy and...

Shinya woke up from his dream, breathing hard. He sat up in his bed and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He bit his bottom lip as he gingerly touched the angry welt on his face. He winced when it felt bruised and worse still, appeared bruised. 

Shinya lay in his bed, his breathing more controlled now.

His mind went back to Die's words.

'You said I raped you...you don't remember anything...'

And that last look before he departed. So hurt, so...disappointed. At him.

Shinya hugged a pillow close to him as he recalled how nice Die treated him since their first meeting, how he would help him out no matter what difficulties it caused him, how he would make him happy when he's sad...Die had never meant him any harm.

-Die.-

The luminous green of the bedside clock glowed in the dark.

-2.45 a.m.-

..

to part 8

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