KaoruXToshiya
By Vanilla Mint

Part 5

..
Toshiya was at home.

-Kaoru, what do you take me as?-

The tea steamed as it was poured into the cup.

-Do you really feel something for me? Or are you just having fun playing around with me?

The hot liquid spilled out of the cup, scalding his hand, but he didn't feel anything. He continued filling the overflowing mug.

-You kissed Shinya and then you kissed me? What does that mean? Do you love the both of us or none of us?-

He choked on a sob as he fought it from rising.

-Kaoru, do you know I love you? Do you know how much you are hurting me? Do you know how much I want to just forget all these?-

Unable to fight it anymore, Toshiya let the tears fall and drip to join the pool of tea on the table.

***
The sound of the drumbeats seem to echo mindlessly in his head. Kyo's screaming rang through the speakers with such tenacity although it hurt his eardrums less compared with rehearsals. Why was he listening to Dir en Grey's songs? 

-'Cause that way I can hear Toshiya playing bass in the background.-

Kaoru rested his head on the sofa, sighing to no one but himself. Had he known the bassist had witnessed that particular incident of him with Shinya, he would have spoken to him instead of acting rashly as he did earlier. Not that he regretted the brief kiss with Toshiya. He could still taste the other man on his lips.  

-Toshiya...-

***
Sunlight streamed through the thin fabric of the curtain, creating a seemingly warm glow in the room. The air was nicely cool though, Shinya noted as he slowly awakened. His eyes felt sore and demanded more rest. Grunting, he let his head loll back into its previous position. It was then he felt the warmth radiating from another body and the feeling of bare skin against his own. Dismay hit him then anxiety. His eyes flew open as he disentangled himself from the limbs of the other person, causing the bed's other occupant to stir.

He stared at the other person lying beside him, the familiar red-hair hidden partially by the covers. The other man groaned at the loss of sleep as he flipped the blanket from his face. Die blinked and squinted his eyes at the bright surroundings. All the annoyance of being woken up so early disappeared when he spotted Shinya sitting on the bed in an upright position, his eyes looked questioning.

Die gulped and pulled himself up to face the drummer. His throat suddenly felt dry; too dry as he looked intently at Shinya for any reactions.

Shinya opened his mouth to say something but no words came. His eyes flitted to the crimson stain now ruining the pure white sheets and felt a strange dull pain around his lower regions. He had to close his eyes for a while before he continued searching for any proof to deny his overwhelming suspicion of what might have taken place the night before. He found their clothes strewn around the room untidily. Their state of undress revealed the telltale marks on their bodies. 

Die could not see Shinya's down-turned face but he saw Shinya's fists clenching the blanket. He gulped as he racked his mind for an explanation. He came up with none. 

" Shinya, are you...okay?" Die's hand reached for Shinya's more petite ones.

Shinya's hands flinched and jerked away the instance their skin touched. He didn't answer Die's question instead he looked at Die with accusing eyes. A single tear escaped the pool of saltwater forming around his rims.

" You're asking me...if I'm okay?!" he screamed.

-Oops. Shinya's sounds angry...Shinya IS angry. Very.-

The second part of his thought materialized when Shinya began picking up the little bottles and cases on his dressing table and threw them at Die, all hitting him with impressive accuracy.

" Get the fuck out! I don't want to see you!"

" Shinya!"

" Out!"

The last of the bottles shattered against the hard door, its contents spilling out onto the carpet. It was a bottle of his favorite perfume, he mindlessly noted, as the fragrance was released.

But he couldn't remember its name as he sank into the pillows with tears falling down his face.

***
Die stood outside the door, his fingers wiping off the blood from his forehead. He frowned as he let himself slide down to crouch on the floor, his toes felt slightly numb from the winter's coldness. Pulling the blanket tighter around his body, he leaned his forehead on his knees.

" Shinya, I'm sorry," he said, hoping the words would be heard.

" Shinya..."

-I love you...-

..

to part 6

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