KaoruXToshiya
By Vanilla Mint

Part 4

Toshiya looked into the mirror and applied more powder to the area around his eyes. But the slightly swollen and puffy skin was still obvious. Looking into the mirror again, he gave up and grabbed his sunglasses from the top shelf. The day wasn't exactly bright but...

***
" What's wrong with Toshiya today?" Die poked Kyo.

" Am I supposed to know?!" 

" You don't have to sound so mad! I'm just asking!"

As the two continued bickering, Kaoru frowned and walked over to Toshiya. The younger man didn't look up at him when he sat down beside him; his eyes were glued intently on the magazine. 

" Toshiya-chan?" 

Toshiya did not answer but his eyes flickered towards Kaoru's hands before focusing back to an article. Kaoru frowned.

" Toshiya, I want to talk to you," he stated as he took the magazine from Toshiya's hands, getting a glare from the bassist in the process.

" What?" Toshiya whined. He was not in a good mood and that worsened when Kaoru smiled at Shinya who just passed by. If it was possible, Toshiya would have fumes coming out of his ears at this moment.

" Listen, I'm not free now, so just say what you want to say, okay?" Toshiya said crossly.

" Can we...speak somewhere else?" Kaoru asked as he looked at the still-arguing Die and Kyo and the now-trying-to-stop-the-argument Shinya.  

They ended up in the staff room. 

" So what's so important that you must tell me?" Toshiya settled himself on the purplish red sofa.
Kaoru took the place next to his, slightly closer to Toshiya than the bassist would have expected. He felt his heart skip a beat and started berating himself.

-You just promised yourself to get over Kaoru and look at you now.-

" Toshiya-chan, do you like me?"

A long silence droned after that particular question Kaoru's issued. Kaoru wasn't looking at Toshiya, his eyes were staring straight into the space in front of him. He scanned Toshiya's face but it was void of any expression.

Kaoru found this extremely disturbing, since the young bassist would normally blush or fidget around whenever he was near. Uncertainty had plagued him when he started noticing the budding of this unnatural infatuation, if that's what one would call it, but he realized that he was attracted to Toshiya, too. 

Gaining self-courage, he leaned towards Toshiya and kissed him on the lips. Toshiya's eyes widened in shock. He was not anticipating that. But his reaction was not one he had expected himself, as he felt a surge of emotion flooding him. One distinct emotion he managed to identify was anger. Anger at Kaoru. Anger for making him feel as if he was nothing else but one of Kaoru's play-things. Didn't he just see him with Shinya engaged in a very compromising act the day before? The image replayed itself in his mind.

Noting that Toshiya was not responding, Kaoru pulled back. He caught Toshiya's look of shock, or was it hatred or disgust? He could not tell. He felt a sharp pain when Toshiya's palm struck his cheek. Slightly startled by the violent jolt, he saw Toshiya stand up and pick up his bass.

" I hate you, Kaoru!" Tears were forming in his eyes, the liquid threatening to fall down his face. But he turned around and left in a haste, not wanting to let Kaoru see the hurt in him.

" Toshiya!" The name echoed within the walls of the enclosed staff room as the hard slam of the door vibrated the window panes.

***
" What happened?" Shinya asked when Kaoru came back to the main part of the studio.

" Toshiya just ran out like that," Die stated.

" Nothing," came the curt reply from Kaoru.

" So are we still having practice? I mean Toshiya's gone and last night he didn't come back to the studio after running out," Kyo asked, hoping that he could go home and take a nap.

" I don't know. Yoshiki'd be...Wait. What did you say?" Kaoru looked at Kyo.

" Hmm? Are we still having practice??"

" No, after that."

" Toshiya's gone and last night he didn't come back?"

" Yeah, that's it. What's it about last night and Toshiya running out?" Kaoru asked.

" Well, yesterday I was sitting here with Die and Toshiya just ran out like that. He was crying."

" No, he wasn't really crying," Die corrected.

" Okay whatever."

" From where?"

" From-? Oh. He came from the rest area, I think," Kyo scratched his head.

The jigsaw pieces began to fit itself to form a picture in Kaoru's mind. Feeling terrible, he buried his face in his hands.

" Practice's canceled. I'll tell Yoshiki-san," Kaoru said.

Kyo was practically bouncing with joy as he cleared his stuff to go home. Shinya didn't question Kaoru as he had a fair idea on what happened. Shinya sulked inwardly as he locked the door after stashing away his drum set. Being rejected sure did not boost his mood. 

' I wish the best for you two...' He never thought he would have said those words.

There was really nothing much he could hope for now. Kaoru had clearly no interest of that sort in him whatsoever. 

As he stroll down the corridor, he found Die waiting for him. The red-haired guitarist was smoking although it was not permitted in the premises. He stubbed the cigarette as Shinya promptly made his way up to him.

" Go for a drink, ne?"

" Gomen, I'm kinda tired. I don't want to go for a drink," Shinya stated.

" Don't be like this...I'm so lonely," Die complained. 

Shinya shot Die a look of distress, then gave in, " Okay, okay, I'll go with you."

The cool breeze was comforting to Shinya's nerves. Die admired the way Shinya's long hair played with the wind, wanting to touch them but afraid to. The younger man unaware of Die's fondness of him, clung to his arm when a gush of winter wind swept them.

" Brr, so cold!" he vehemently exclaimed. " Where's your car?"

" Uh? O-over there!" Die encountered some difficulty to speak with Shinya hanging onto him like that.

In the car, Die met with more difficulties, trying to drive and not ram into some pole while his eyes so unerringly fleeted to catch a glimpse at his effeminate bandmate, well prissy was more like it. All throughout the drive, Shinya didn't utter a single word, intently looking out at the passing view. His eyes reflected a certain sadness, which Die happened to detect before quickly swerving to avoid the fire-hydrant a foot away.

-I'm pathetic.- Die thought to himself as he pulled the car to a halt.

Amazingly, they found a spot in the corner despite the crowd at the bar that day. Die waited for the waiter to take down their order for drinks before he spoke. 

" You seem down today." Half-knowing the reason, Die still asked. 

" Something wrong?"

" No. Nothing." Shinya answered before dropping back into his normal quiet personality.

" You know you can tell me..." Die's voice sounded barely audible amidst the noisy condition.

Smiling as he took the drink from the waiter's tray, he said, " You wouldn't understand my plight."

He sipped at his drink. Wine tasted fine but at the moment, he wanted something stronger...to numb the senses out of him. Hopefully that would make the pain of rejection go away. Die watched on worriedly as Shinya quickly downed the clear liquid and ordered for something stronger.

Three hours passed and that left Shinya clinging onto Die's blouse, his eyes glazed with the overdose of alcohol and tears. Die had only consumed a few drinks, reminding himself that it was necessary for him to keep sober so that he can drive home.

" Why? What is it that he sees in that brat?!" the intoxicated Shinya wailed as he grabbed at Die's collar then buried his head there to weep.

" Shinya, Shinya, cool down. Don't cry," Die softly stroked Shinya's hair. The salty moisture was seeping into the material of his top but he did not care. 

" Let's go, okay?"

When they reached Shinya's apartment, the drummer was already out cold. With no other choice, he lugged the man up to his home, hoping that he would regain consciousness midway as Die had no key. 

" Man, wake up." He patted Shinya cheek. Shinya merely turned his head to the other side and continued his slumber. Die began to feel very awkward, especially with Shinya snoozing away in his arms.

Fed up, he dropped Shinya on the floor.

" Ow!"

Shinya was finally awake, although the liquor blurred his thoughts and movements. Ignoring Die, he staggered to the wooden door and tried to put the key in. It missed the hole, much to Shinya's displeasure. He squinted and managed to aim the key at the lock, only to discover he had the wrong key.

" Give me." Die didn't wait for Shinya but snatched the bunch of keys from his hands, carefully picked one and stuffed it into the hole and it unlocked with ease as soon as he turned the key. 

Shinya headed straight for the couch and slumped there, dead to the world. Die sighed and pried him off the cushion to the bedroom.

-You're gonna catch your death of cold if you sleep here.-

Though he found himself thinking something else with Shinya so vulnerable within his grasps. 

- No, I'm not going to force myself on him.-

Shinya's long hair splayed beautifully over the contrasting white sheets as Die placed him on the bed. He groaned in discomfort. The guitarist found it extremely embarrassing when he had to get Shinya out of his clothes which by now was stinking with the stench of alcohol. He drew back his hand when it brushed against Shinya's bare skin.

- I'm drunk!-

He gazed longingly at Shinya.

- So beautiful.-

- A kiss wouldn't hurt...just a kiss.-

Die bent over the bed, his face nearly touching Shinya's as he pressed their lips together. Shinya felt warm and tasted somewhat sweet. To his utter surprise, Shinya sighed softly and opened his mouth. The older man shifted himself to cover Shinya, his body touching the other man's almost intimately. In a few moments, he felt Shinya's hand crept behind him to caress him. Lacking air in his lungs, Die broke the kiss. 

" Mmmm...don't stop..." Shinya practically purred into Die's ear.

His hands still suspended around Die's waist, he pulled himself upwards to give him a peck on the corner of his mouth. Bewildered, Die didn't move until Shinya rubbed the lower parts of their anatomy together.

" Shinya!" he gasped, the breath going out of him quickly. Yet, he didn't leave, choosing to succumb to Shinya's gentle touches and kisses. He knew he would have to face the consequences of this stolen night when the sun rises tomorrow but he decided that he would think about it later. For now, he wanted what he could get.
..

to part 5

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