Toshiya stared at the first picture ever taken of him and Kaoru together. They were outside a club apparently, with their eye make-up smeared, arms wrapped around each other, both smiling cheekily at the camera. It was his proof that there were happier times - after the confusion that had brought them together, when their love was still new. But as the saying goes, "A flower is beautiful when it blossoms, but the fragrance cannot last forever."

This 4 by 7 photo was a painful reminder of that very fact.

He felt something painful twist inside his chest and a tear ran, unnoticed, down his face, over the swelling of a new bruise. Toshiya looked startled to see the salty droplet as it fell onto the crystal framing the picture and reached up to wipe the rest before they fell, touching his swollen cheek and flinching softly.

Almost wondrously, he ran his fingers over that fresh bruise on his cheek…

/ No, Kaoru, I don't want to—not right now!! Please…/

The fading trail of black and blue marks encircling his neck…

The angry red marks around his wrists…

At that memory – seeing the viciousness in Kaoru's eyes, feeling the brutality emanating from Kaoru's body – the dam keeping his emotions in check fell, crashing into tiny pieces of rubble. Everything overcame him like a inundate river of blood and skeletons; all he had hid or denied to himself about Kaoru. Toshiya's shaking hand dropped the picture and it fell, shattering as it connected with the hard wood floor and he collapsed on the floor beside the desk, tears falling in an uncontrollable torrent. Toshiya clutched at himself, desperately seeking comfort – any comfort. Comfort that was supposed to be given by a lover who wasn't there and to whom it no longer mattered.

He was just as broken as the shining shards of crystal that had once protected his beloved keepsake. They now surrounded him, glinting ominously in the moonlight filtering from the window.

My love…Toshiya thought helplessly as he gazed at the photo buried perilously among razor-sharp pieces of broken crystal. Not caring that he would be cut, he reached for the picture and retrieved it from its transparent prison, feeling his fingers being slashed by the sharp, unsympathetic edges. Toshiya cradled his treasure against his body, heedless of the blood trickling from his wounded fingers.

"Kaoru…" Toshiya whispered, feeling the tears trickle off his chin.

"Toshiya??"

Toshiya quickly wiped his face and turned to the man leaning against the side of the door. His heart still fluttered weakly as he saw his lover standing shirtless, in tight, creaking leather pants, looking lascivious and utterly erotic.

"Yes?"

His voice shaking. He wouldn't meet his lover's eyes.

Kaoru stood awkwardly for a moment, then went to Toshiya's side, wrapping his arms around the bassist.

Toshiya stiffened at first, then seeing the expression on Kaoru's face, crumbled brokenly into the his lover's embrace. He turned his head into Kaoru's neck and – in the comforting familiarity of Kaoru's body – couldn't help as the tears came again.

"I'm so sorry…" Kaoru whispered as he felt moisture against his neck, not realizing that these insubstantial droplets were only the corporeal form of a river of pain, suffering, and confusion. "I don't know what came over me. Toshiya, I know you've heard this before but…it won't happen again. I promise. It's just— Toshiya…are you bleeding?"

Kaoru held his lover's hands gently, careful of the injured fingers.

"Our picture…" Toshiya said in a soft, trembling voice. "It broke."

Kaoru looked at him incredulously. "And you hurt yourself for it?? A stupid picture??"

Toshiya hunched down again, looking miserable.

Kaoru sighed as he struggled for the words to say. He touched Toshiya's shoulder gently and pulled the younger man into his arms, never noticing the stricken look that appeared on Toshiya's face. Toshiya knew what was next; it happened after every incident. And nothing had ever changed.

"Baby, I never meant to hurt you. You just weren't listening to me."

"Toshiya, forgive me…I would never hurt you purposely in any way. I just had a really short fuse today…"

"Totchi… I love you."

Kaoru put a hand under Toshiya's chin and pushed his head up until their faces were even. Toshiya stared into the guitarist's eyes, desperately looking for something that would tell him Kaoru spoke the truth; that after this time it would never happen again. But no such thing manifested.

Dropping his gaze to the floor again and taking a deep breath, Toshiya said what was expected of him.

"I love you too, Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled, and a hint of what Toshiya had fallen in love with when they first met each other shined through. Toshiya felt a glimmer of hope and a small white fleeting dream began to grow inside of him. His tears dried.

He pulled Kaoru's arms around himself, burrowing in, hoping to spark whatever emotion Kaoru had lost in the few months they had been together – hoping to quell what had allowed him look at his lover with such cruel eyes, made him say vicious things, gave him the ability to abuse – both mentally and physically – the one who had loved him so much. Toshiya had almost been successful in convincing himself that their relationship was about to change – that Kaoru had truly been sorry this time and his every spoken word had been true – when he felt Kaoru's lips on his neck.

At first it had just been small kisses, like butterfly wings against his forehead, his cheeks. But now he could clearly feel Kaoru's tongue running lightly on his skin, dancing hotly against his fading bruises. He whimpered from the pain that filled him to the core, carefully hidden by his exterior, but barely contained. It crashed against his defenses, hoping to escape, as he realized that this wouldn't be different from all the other times.

Mistaking that whimper of anguish for one of pleasure, Kaoru became more excited, sucking harshly at Toshiya's throat, his fingers going lower to push the shoulders of his lover's robe down, running none-to-gently over Toshiya's chest to rub at his nipples.

Toshiya lay back and endured. He knew how this night would end. It was all he could do to keep back the tears and give Kaoru the pretense that he was enjoying it.

First, he would be left alone until his crying was audible even outside of the room. Then, Kaoru would come in and console him, trying to soothe his fears, promising that an incident like that which had occurred would never happen again. Then, afterwards, came the sex. None of which Toshiya wanted. He wanted Kaoru to give him solace from the pain he had to endure. He wanted for their love to be proven and reproven. If it ended in them making love then so be it. But he didn't want the sticky heat of sex, the scrabbling hands groping over his body…

"I love you…" He whispered again – continuously – as he felt Kaoru's lips on his face, calloused hands traveling roughly over his sensitive skin. The mantra comforted him minutely and Toshiya bit his lip against the painful twisting in his chest, determined, if it would not be pleasurable for him, to at least make it enjoyable for Kaoru.

Kaoru took Toshiya's injured hand inside his own. He slid a finger inside his mouth, tongue gently rubbing at it like a cat groomed it's fur, washing the blood away, then joining it with another finger and another. The feeling of Kaoru's tongue against his skin, mixed with the pleasurable little shocks of pain as his cuts were touched made the heat begin to gather in his groin. Kaoru dropped Toshiya's hands, pausing a moment before kissing Toshiya deeply.

Toshiya flinched as he tasted something coppery mixed in with Kaoru's tongue. He moaned as he realized that it was blood – his blood – that was in his mouth, as bitter as the love it had come from.

Feeling Kaoru's tongue licking at his lips, he reflexively opened his mouth, allowing Kaoru's tongue to enter and plunder him as he felt the guitarist's hands pulling off the thin robe that was all he had on. He meekly nibbled at Kaoru's lips until again, he was overtaken by his lover's lust driven kisses. He trembled as he felt a brush of that discordant passion he had learned to fear as Kaoru ravaged his mouth and Toshiya gasped when Kaoru finally pulled back, his heart thundering with more fright than desire.

His robe had been forgotten after his body had been bared and it now lay underneath him, a meager protection for his delicate skin from the cold, coarse floor. Kaoru gave a wicked smile as he grabbed the sash meant to hold the silk together and looked at his lover who was lying prone on the ground. Knowing what Kaoru wanted, and not wanting to give Kaoru a reason to make this session of lovemaking violent, Toshiya willingly offered his wrists to his dominant partner. Kaoru wrapped the silk almost lovingly around the silent Toshiya's wrists, then tied the loose ends to a side rung of the bed they shared. Toshiya closed his eyes and shuddered as his arms were pulled above his head, and tried to force his heart to stop pounding, his breathing to slow and become even. I trust Kaoru, he told himself. If this is what he wants – no, needs – than it's what I'll give him.

Kaoru paused to feast his eyes on the sight of Toshiya's body, pale and stretched out on the floor. He was beginning to tremble even as Kaoru looked on, his arms shaking so slightly under his growing apprehension. Toshiya's nipples had hardened in the cold of the room, the delightful nubs of skin that begged to be licked and pinched. Unable to resist the desire, he reached out - noting pleasurably that Toshiya flinched as Kaoru reached towards him – and ran his fingers over them, leaning down to lap at one. Just as Toshiya relaxed, Kaoru bit down painfully and his lover jumped, a protesting cry escaping his lips, his eyes watering up. Kaoru sat up again, leaving a small kiss on Toshiya's chest. Frowning as his eyes traveled under Toshiya's waist, Kaoru placed a hand on the inner part of his lover's thigh and the bassist flinched at the cold touch, yielding to the unsaid command and spreading his legs widely, allowing Kaoru to gaze past the deliciously white thighs to the most intimate area between Toshiya's legs. He reveled in the wonder of his lover's submission, dazzled at this beautiful creature that was offered for his pleasure.

Kaoru leaned forward to kiss Toshiya gently, pressing his lips against his lover, persuading his lips to welcome him. As he tasted Toshiya, Kaoru began to push against him harshly, demandingly, until the younger man started to struggle, trying to pull away.

"Oh, god, Toshiya…" he said as his hand went slowly to his groin, rubbing the growing bulge, "You don't know how you make me feel…what you do to me…"

He unbuttoned his pants slowly, pushing them past his hips and then brought his manhood out, cupping it in his hand.

"Please, Toshiya?"

Kaoru rubbed his hand on his cock and gasped raggedly, throwing his head back. He moved forward in one quick, fluid movement, one hand grabbing the side of the bed, his body stretched above his lover’s, the other continuing to stimulate himself.

"I need you," he whispered silkily into Toshiya's ear. "Help me finish?" Toshiya looked doubtful, as if he wanted to stop this scene before it went too far, and Kaoru smile slyly, delivering his killing blow without hesitation. "Toshiya, show me… how much you love me?? Please??" He gently kissed his lover's neck.

Toshiya's compliance was assured by the last comment - Kaoru could see the bassist’s defenses slowly dissipating.. Toshiya slowly nodded.

But it wasn't enough for Kaoru. He needed a more cement confirmation of his dominance and pried for it ruthlessly. Moving until his thighs straddled Toshiya's legs, he rubbed his groin directly against Toshiya's own, watching the younger man slowly succumb to his body and Kaoru's will. Licking a long wet line up Toshiya's chest, Kaoru paused at his lover's throat.

"What was that?"

Toshiya swallowed convulsively as if to prepare himself for what was coming. "Yes…Kaoru-sama…"

Kaoru smiled and moved up, raising his hips, pushing the head of his erection against Toshiya's lips and Toshiya opened his mouth, swallowing Kaoru whole. Barely waiting for his lover to adjust, Kaoru began thrust into that moist warmth with abandon, then moved to a position where he could watch the younger man pleasure him.

Toshiya clenched his eyes shut and tried his best to not choke as he struggled to pleasure Kaoru. From his position laying down he had precious little control over anything that happened. He used everything he knew to bring Kaoru to pleasure, hoping that once Kaoru saw his love and devotion, his façade of iciness would fade and disappear.

Kaoru watched the bassist as he moved his organ steadily in and out of Toshiya's mouth. Toshiya was amazing, his tongue licking Kaoru's velvet hardness, probing against the sensitive underside, sweeping across the head, then deep-throating him, the muscles in his throat moving simultaneously to the waves of pleasure overwhelming Kaoru's groin.

"That's so good, Toshiya…" He moaned, his hand entangling in Toshiya's hair. He ignored his lover's flinching as he pulled too hard, forcing even more of his cock down Toshiya's throat. Kaoru never even saw the tears slowly start dripping down his lover's face.

"God, Totchi!!" Kaoru cried out, feeling pressure build inside him unbearably. "Unh…not—yet!!!"

He pulled himself away from Toshiya's mouth and - moving liquid quick - hooked one of his lover's long legs over his shoulder, he pushed inside Toshiya's sweet heat with no more lubricant than Toshiya had provided himself.

Toshiya opened his mouth to scream but was stopped as it was filled with Kaoru's questing tongue. He jerked with pain when Kaoru began to pump, his body going stiff as the older man moved within him. Toshiya whimpered loudly, biting at his lip to keep from screaming, making small mewling sounds of supplication as Kaoru drove into his delicate orifice, crying out from the pleasure of his lover's tender heat. Tightening his jaw, Toshiya resigned himself to endure.

If I had been more attentive…if I had listened to him like he'd asked, Toshiya thought as the waves of pain assaulted his body, if I had only done whatever it is I hadn't, he would still love me now!! …I deserve this…it's my own fault. His face was soggy with tears and his hands pulled feebly against the bonds that held them as the burning pain increased with Kaoru's thrusts. He knew that by now he was torn and bleeding, but his heart and body were too weary to even protest.

"So…tight…" Kaoru groaned, pushing his hips sharply against Toshiya. "Fucking…sweet." He snapped his hips upwards as he thrust and moaned in pleasure as Toshiya whimpered with the added pain. Even as he noticed Toshiya's eyes wincing, he continued ramming his cock into lover whose body now visibly cringed away from Kaoru. Finally, Kaoru lost what little control he had and pushed ravenously deep into his lover's slick hole. When Toshiya's muscles contracted tightly from the pain, Kaoru came, filling him inside with his seed.

"I—oh, god…Toshiya…"

Kaoru fell beside his lover, their bodies damp with exertion. He threw a possessive arm around Toshiya's chest and leaned over, kissing Toshiya's trembling lips before lying back, exhausted.

"Mine…" he whispered as he slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Toshiya lay limply on the ground, his arms still tied above his head, his chest heaving from pain and fear. Blood and other bodily fluids leaked from between his legs. He was near broken. He had no tears left. Staring blankly out the window at the first rays of the sunrise, he said softly, almost inaudibly, "A flower is beautiful when it blooms, but its fragrance cannot last forever."

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